This is basically all written here to background this, my official State of the Marriage address. Also, if you could find some way to not judge me for getting married on September 11 that would be great too.
It's been another great year in the land of irrelevance between getting married and having children. Instead of some couples who nag or bicker but never blow it up arguments wise, we've somehow found a system of 24/7 complete obsession with quarterly bouts of acute and absolute hatred of each other that last from maybe three hours to a day. I've taught myself how to get through those without saying anything really mean, spending a bunch of money or calling a girlfriend or family member. It's been a really fun year where things are starting to click together in life and work for us, and I've enjoyed every moment of it. Besides those few when we were in temporary hatred zone. That pesky zone always make us stronger in the end, though.
There is one thing, though, that I fail to do as a young, Facebook obsessed newlywed. I don't think one time this year I posted on Facebook that Markus was "THE BEST HUSBAND IN THE WORLD!!!!" like so many of my female newlywed collegues.
I get so conflicted about these statements. I am so happy for the young women posting this, as everyone deserves to feel like they are with the best example of human being possible - that's what the soul mate idea is all about, right? The perfect match thing.
Part of me wonders, when you pronounce your spouse as the best in the world - are you trying to let other people know that you have them beat? That you have the golden ticket and everyone else should just give up?
Maybe Markus is the best husband in the world. He has my vote and Jason Segel isn't married yet so I really can't find any comparison or competition. I will give the man this - he is the best part of my life. The good things that have happened to me in young adulthood wouldn't be as good if he didn't make them a celebration with me. I am blessed to have had him as a support, inspirtation and secret keeper through the hard stuff. Life has been hectic at times but pretty awesome since marrying Markus. I think of life as pie (shocker) - there's work, family, love, self, etc. I think I have a lot of pieces left to fill, but am at the huge advantage of having the most important piece figured out.
This might surprise you (no it will not actually), but I love Willie Nelson. One of my favorite early memories is my grandfather teaching me how to sing "Mamas Don't Let Your Babies Grow Up to be Cowboys." One of his songs, "Good Hearted Woman," used to irk me as I pictured a woman who just stood by in blissful denial as her husband good timed all over Lord's creation. This summer it's been a regular on my playlists. I've come to appreciate it more as a song that hold the secret to marriage: knowing that your spouse is crazy but loving him despite of his ways that you don't understand.
"She just talks about the good times they've had and all the good times to come."
Oh, that Willie Nelson. He's so wise.
Markus, if you read my blog, I am happy that I married you. Thank you for making my coffee every morning and for plugging in my phone even when it is closer to me.