Dallas has a ton of local male celebrities. I think my husband is among Dallas' finest but it's always good to be aware what revs your engine and of course work on a Plan B, kind of like Love in the Time of Cholera. Moving to Dallas after college meant settling in to a local flavor here and soon I realized it was time to identify what local hotties I had eyes for.
After immediately knocking Kidd Kraddick and Troy Duncan off my list, I continued to work down to an elite group of men that I felt like I really connected with on a primary level. But only one could take the small hole in my heart that I had left after my love for my spouse. It was time for the pros and cons lists.
Pros: Tall, moody and apathetic hard shell around a sensitive and emotional interior that when tapped produces the most beautiful sad stories of love gone wrong. He would be mean to all my friends and they would worry about me and that would be awesome.
Cons: Other than one time that I've seen him out, our radio/music connection has not translated well over to the flesh. Everyone wants to love a bad boy but we know how these end, am I right? Also he wears leather wristbands, an offense that sits on the top throne of my deal breaker list.
Pros: We both go to Flywheel and the couple that spins together wins together. He likes beautiful blondes and I've never dated an athlete so we would both be playing against type which is always fun at first. My code for him when I see him out and text Markus is HSB - He's so big. Seriously, he is one of the largest humans I've ever met.
Cons: A life of cliche perfection would prove too much for me. Besides his darling chuckle I'm not sure what's there personality wise to entertain me.
Pros: Standing on the side of the stage while he sings me Petty Theft songs will be my dream life. I enjoy Genghis Grill and baseball. We are fellow creatures of habit. I would love to roll my eyes at him when he does old people things in an affecrionate way. Every day would be like our own romantic Tuesdays with Morrie.
Cons: Since his daughter went to my high school and is a very sweet girl this one is way too close to my wheelhouse. I would have to deal with Shoopy coming over all the time which might be weird since we went to grade school together. Have to pass.
These last three were gone and then it was just down to one final rose. It became so clear who my ultimate Dallas crush is. Dave Little. I got out my notebook and started to make it look like this:
Dave Little is a comedian in Dallas. He does some music stuff and lots of really random bits. He is super funny in an awkward way that also makes him really endearing. Markus and I heard Steve Martin speak a few weeks ago and he talked about how if you take the punch lines out of jokes this tension just builds and everything just sort of becomes funny. We looked at each other and Markus said, "That is totally Dave Little!" So basically this is the closest you get to Steve Martin in Dallas, folks. He's funny and I love how he's always trying new things out on Twitter or on his podcasts. He may not be as dangerous as Danny Balis or as old as Mike Rhyner, but he is my Sunday kind of love.
We went to see Try to Impress Dave Little at Dallas Comedy House last night. I personally think Dallas Comedy House is one of the best date spots in Dallas and last night continued to prove my point. It's funny without being as hokey as some of the other comedy clubs in Dallas, it's in the middle of one of the coolest neighborhoods in Dallas and most of the people performing are like you - cool kids working full time who want to do something creative and funny on the weekends. There are multiple shows every weekend night and you can pop in for one or stay and see them all. The most this unique entertainment can set you back per person is about $10 and open mic stand up and improv nights on Tuesday and Wednesday are free and have happy hour drink specials! That's a cheaper date than your mom - whaaaaaaaaaat!
The glory days of summers spent at improv camp (who is the cool kid now?) always rush back to me when I see a black stage with chairs pushed back against the wall.
The show was really funny! Way better than anything you could see on Thursday night TV. And look at all these strapping young lads up for grabs in case you are looking for a Dallas comedy crush of your own (stay off my Dave Little koolaid). I thought the guy on the far left in the stripes was darling, kind of like a jerkier looking Jason Segel.
If you want to knock the dust off your funny bone, Dallas Comedy House also has improv and stand up classes. I was on an improv troupe in high school and when my family life was crazy I always looked forward to those two hours a week where you couldn't be funny and think about real stuff at the same time. Hopefully I'll be enrolling as a student at DCH this summer for a return to life as a summer improv enthusiast! If you're interested but not sure where to start, there's a free improv class on every last Wednesday of the month. Maybe you will see me there in March drawing hearts around all the Dave Little posters in magic marker.
P.S. I told my mom about this post and she told me I was "gross." Markus read it before I published it and told me he thought it was beautful. Love for Dave Little transcends genders in this family.